Review: IMM Garden Plaza - Wet & Dry Playground

I apologize for the drought in my posts, the fault of my hectic study schedule. But don't expect me to keep this up...I will only have breathing space for the next couple of months. Which happens to coincide with school holidays, so hopefully I'll have more stuff to write about!

Such as our lovely outing today at IMM. Since the Garden Plaza was revamped, this is our second time bringing the kids to the new playground. Gone is the tall treehouse slide (which, sadly, I never actually got to go on), but which was replaced by some awesome new installments.

Check out the wet playground.

E1 and E2 were blessed with good weather

Before we came earlier in the week, I hadn't known there was an awesome wet playground. E2, who absolutely loves water, was longingly toddling over and chanting "water, water". Of course, he threw a tantrum when I said he couldn't go in because we didn't bring a change of clothes. This time, we came prepared!

Interesting and varied types of fountains and sprays

I don't think you would find another playground as empty as this

I don't really know what's so captivating about this trough but the kids really loved it

While the slide doesn't look very exciting, it's actually quite daunting since the sprays are quite strong. E1 only dared to go on it twice, while E2, as much as he loves water, didn't dare to go on it at all.

The best part of it was how uncrowded it was, and that it's free! And to those who don't know IMM, there's 2 hours unconditional free parking. Of course, I can't say how bad it'll be on the weekends but given that it's currently school holidays, it's still pretty neat that there were less than 10 kids the entire time we were there (I counted 7, including my own). This was a much nicer experience than the one at Gardens By the Bay or the Bird Park and Zoo, which I felt were either too uninteresting or too tough for the toddlers. Here, I was happy to let the kids roam wild while I took cover under the shade. The downside was that there is no changing rooms for adults, so I couldn't join them even though I had brought my stuff (my big kid heart wanted to go on the slide, really). But there's a nice boy and girl shower area for kids under 6.

And while waiting for the wet area to open, the kiddos were happy to run around in the dry playground.

Kor kor don't leave me behind!

The tall slide is decently high enough for the daredevils, while there are two smaller ones for younger kids. There's also other fun stuff like a mini glider that I didn't get to snap, but I assure you that this is way more fun than your average HDB playground. And there's a huge tent to provide shade and shelter from inclement weather.

Verdict: Will definitely come here again, and again, and again
It's free, not as crowded as other playgrounds, and there's free parking: what's not to love? And if you're lucky enough to have babysitters, you can dump the kids there while you shop at the multitude of branded outlets, do groceries at Giant, or spend your savings at Daiso. And then when everyone's tuckered out, choose from a variety of restaurants for lunch/dinner before heading home.

The wet playground opens at 10.30 am on weekdays and 10.00 am on weekends. Closed every first Wednesday of the month for maintenance. 

Rant: Being a sick breastfeeding mum - what and what not to do

I know it's been a long hiatus since my last post. I'll attribute that to my exam, which is next month. And it's a difficult exam, so I've been studying fanatically every day.

But the past week has also been a very miserable one because I was (still am) sick. Like, really sick. Even the maid asked how come I'm so sick, is it because it's been a long time since I got sick? Well yeah, and probably also because this bug is really resilient. It started when E1 spent too long in the pool and he came out, on the very same day, with a cough and cold. Then he spread it to E2 because it's difficult to quarantine a toddler in a tiny apartment. So they both developed fevers, runny nose and cough, but both got better within a few days. So by the time the bug jumped from E2 to myself, it had super incredible life-miserabling powers. And here were (are) my symptoms:

- stuffy nose
- bright, colourful mucus in a variety of shades: brown, yellow, bright yellow, green
- fever for 1.5 days
- hacking cough - I would throw up after every meal from such violent coughing
- later developed sinusitis, characterised by a facial pain and an upper jaw ache
- couldn't taste a single freaking thing

What the hell was going on here?? What kind of life-slaying misery-inducing germ is this?? Well whatever it is, I certainly didn't go about it the right way I think. Aside from not going to the doctor, I didn't even self-medicate. Big mistake.

The only medicine I was willing to take was lozenges, to control the cough. Which honestly didn't help. At all. I did also take paracetamol for the fever when it arrived.

Of course at this point you must be thinking, what about that runny nose and all that colourful mucus? I was reluctant to take decongestants because firstly, I thought it was just a normal cold and it would eventually run its course in a couple of days. Secondly, some of the decongestants have shown to reduce milk supply, particularly the sedating ones (I'll discuss that later).

So I plodded along for a whole miserable week expelling copious amounts of mucus from my nose and throat. And I didn't get better - I got worse! I had pain in my face! That made me lose my ability to focus on what I was studying.

That was the last straw and I relented. I took Iliadin nose drops and desloratidine.

And I slept so well.

This morning, I woke up with less mucus than I had the previous days, and it wasn't as thick and runny as it would've been. It was more dry. I also didn't cough as much. Well gee, should've done that sooner right? So here's what I learnt from this whole hell-week:

Yes, make sure that whatever medication you're taking is compatible with breastfeeding. The easiest way is to talk to your doctor. Even though I was adamant I didn't want to take any decongestants, sweet GY went to the pharmacy and got me Piriton upon recommendation by the pharmacist. This is chlorphenamine - in the same class as phenylephrine and pseudoephedrine - which is a sedating antihistamine. Meaning it makes you drowsy. And I know it makes me drowsy because I've taken it before. So I know I want to stay away from this class of drugs because I sleep with E2 and it's dangerous for me to be unresponsive to his crying.

The other issue with sedating antihistamines is that there is some research to show it may reduce milk supply in lactating mothers. However, upon further digging, the research only shows this in mothers who have yet to establish milk supply ie if you've been breastfeeding for 7 months, a little bit of these drugs will likely be more beneficial than harmful. And guess what? My milk supply did drop anyway, because E2 nursed less when he had his stuffy nose, and because I was dehydrated. Lesson learnt - next time, I will take this medicine after a breastfeeding session and sleep the illness off in the day.

I could also have just taken non-sedating antihistamines. But in my experience, these weren't so effective for me so I was reluctant to take them. In any case, I should have taken something instead of killing myself like that.

Oh well. Lesson learnt. Do take medication if  you're sick, and talk to your doctor about which ones are most suitable for you. If you're like me and slightly distrustful of some of the things they say, then do your homework first before going to see the doctor. Just don't do nothing.

With that, I leave you with a lovely picture of my mucus this morning - in a tantalising shade of yellow.

Rant: Why I'm glad I'm not bringing up a baby in a Western country

This topic has been on my mind for some time but first let me disclaim that the things I'm going to say are my opinions only and I'd hate to offend anyone. Certainly, you are welcome to disagree with me as much as I'm entitled to write about it. Really, what I'd like to talk about is bringing up a baby. Not a toddler, but a baby whose only form of verbal communication is crying and who has not yet developed the skill of locomotion.

When I had E1, I took motherhood in my stride and was determined not to fight his personality in terms of meeting his needs. As it turned out, E1 was a very clingy baby and I practised what the West dubs as "attachment parenting". The main thing about the first few months of his life that I remember is a lot of carrying. A lot. I carried him when I ate, I carried him when he was sleeping, I carried him everywhere I went. Why? Not because I wanted to, but because he would only sleep while being carried and wanted to nurse constantly. Put him down and he would wake up and cry. And so I never did.

The only time I didn't carry him was when my mum or GY would relieve me for that 15-30 min a day when I could have a shower and take care of myself. And this is the beginning of where I am really grateful that I don't have to bring up my baby in a Western country.

You see, the endless nights I spent trawling the internet for motherhood advice came up with information that revolved around one main issue - how to get more sleep and get things done as a new mother. How do you get your infant to nap while you do the laundry? How do you get your baby to sleep through the night so you can sleep too? How do you get things done around a baby who wants to nurse 24/7?

You know what? I'm glad to say I didn't have to worry about these things. Or, not to the extent that my western counterparts do. It seems that as western culture has progressed to emphasise independence in the individual, it has done away with the concept of the family being involved in raising a child. Inculcating independent behaviours has somehow isolated the nuclear family, leaving much of the strain of caregiving as well as housekeeping to one parent, usually the mother, while the other brings home the bacon. But mothering is a full-time job. How can you do that to your mothers?? Also, think of the babies, the poor helpless things who are robbed of their mothers when the dishes need washing or the house needs cleaning. Human babies are born extremely dependent and I fail to see how one can expect "independence" in a being that is physiologically unprepared to be so. Babies need their mothers and mothers need to take care of their babies.

While admittedly I have not looked much into Asian parenting forums and websites, these things don't seem to concern many Asian parents. Either that or they just don't talk about it. Still, most mothers I've spoken to, newly-crowned or otherwise, often tell me that once they return to work, their babies are cared for by a relative, sometimes assisted by maids. Those who choose to enrol their child in infant care do so because they don't have family support locally. Compared to the current western culture scene depicted by the internet, not having to do housework or worry about making dinner seems like bliss. Of course you can't generalise "western culture", so I'd go so far as to hazard a guess that in western countries where extended family live together, you probably won't find these sorts of problems either. And I'm not saying that all Asian parents lead this wonderful life, just maybe our problems are not of the same nature or magnitude as those in the West. Many of us have family to help.

I had the luxury of opting to stay with my mum during the first few difficult months (and long after that) so that I never had to worry about clean clothes and hot meals. We also had a maid. (Or if some of you insist, a live-in domestic helper. I don't understand the big deal about this being politically correct and culture-sensitive, but that's enough for an entire post.)

Now before you get your knickers in a twist, I will tell you that we had never let the maid handle E1. Her duties were the housework and the meals. But she was my mum's maid, not mine. When I went home on the weekends, I still had to clean my own house and wash my own clothes, even if it meant slinging E1 while mopping the floor. Cooking while holding him was more dangerous but somehow, I managed. Yet most of the time, when I was at my mum's, I was free to concentrate on my most important role: taking care of my baby.

Point is, in this way, we survived E1's infant months without much misery. If I wasn't able to hold him, there was Grandma. If not, then Grandpa. At night, Daddy would entertain him. There was always someone around. We were the baby swing, the bouncer, the distracting toys. At night, I could focus on attending to E1's every fuss and need. I was the pacifier, the cradle and the apnoea monitoring thingamajig. E1 was never left alone, which was just as well saving money, since he would have it no other way.

Eventually, he grew out of his constant need to be carried to move on to other things, such as learning to crawl. And he is by no means a clingy or dependent toddler, in case you're wondering.

When E2 came along, we decided that we would hire a maid to help, especially if I was going to stay home full time. And I'm glad we did. If we hadn't, we would possibly be surviving, but I can confidently say I would also probably be more sleep-deprived, more highly-strung and definitely miserable. My babies might have learned to "hang in there" without me but I'm not sure what state their emotional and mental health would be in - they can really cry themselves hoarse. Without needing to worry about household chores, I can dedicate my time to my baby's needs and juggle the kids' naptimes, while still having leftover time to do other things.

So to all mums out there who are going at it mostly on your own, my hat's off to you, but I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to write this post while E2 suddenly decided he only wants to sleep in mummy's arms again (and I'd probably be stressing out over dinner).

Rant: What it's like being a SAHM

The first question people ask me nowadays is "So how's being a stay at home mum?"

My usual response is "I'm loving it!" and that normally ends the conversation. I suspect people ask out of politeness, not dissimilar to asking "How was your day?" without actually wanting to know the going-ons of your day. After all, nobody really wants to know whether your potty training has been successful or whether your baby has graduated to 3 naps a day.

But I often wonder as an afterthought, did the question mean "Do you like being a stay-home mum?" or did it mean "What do you do as a stay-home mum?"

Do I like being a stay-home mum? Yes. What do I do as a stay-home mum? Look after my kids, duh. But things are more complex than that. This is what I do that makes looking after my kids enjoyable:

1. Play

I know there are parents who don't know how to play with their children, besides giving them a toy and asking them to play with it. But I like to think I'm young at heart, and playing with E1 is pretty fun, especially now that he's getting better with his fine motor skills. We play with blocks or as the nephew calls it, "blocking", catching, hide and seek, jigsaw puzzles or when we have time, at the playground. There's nothing more magical and infectious than the hearty guffaws of a child. Unless it is a disembodied sound in a creepy abandoned building.

2. Teach

I teach E1 pretty much anything, as long as his attention is still with me. The alphabet, numbers, singing, writing, how to play catch (he sucks). I even taught him how to say oh shit oh shit oh shit. Unintentional of course. That just goes to show how easily kids learn from their environment and how important you are as a model. SIL and I once encountered a nearly overbearing mother who told us that she sends her child to playgroup because he loves to sing and dance. Oh really? And you can't do that at home? Ok fine I know I shouldn't judge, but the way she put it was just absurd. And I do know there are noseyparkers who criticise mums who don't send their precious little ones to school once they turn 18 months. Well, my 2-yr old can recognise c-a-t and d-o-g and count to 100. Talk to the hand, bitch.

3. Not stressing about every single thing

When I went back to work after having E1, I was really stressing my poor mother (and myself) out about whether E1 was on schedule with his feeds and naps and whether she was being consistent with the way I did things. Not that I like micromanaging, but E1 really craved consistency and was prone to being overtired, which meant that if the schedule was screwed up, so was he. And guess who had to put the shit back together at night or on the weekends? Now that I'm home and don't have to worry about waking up at 6.30am, things are more relaxed because I'm in control of the schedules.

4. Breastfeed

With E1, I was fully breastfeeding right up till the week before I went back to work. After that I tried expressing during lunch break but it was tedious and rushed so I gave up after a month back at work. Now I don't have to worry about pumping and freezing and sterilising stuff because E2 gets his milk fresh from the dairy. A few people have asked whether I intend to switch to formula. I don't know, formula is friggin hell expensive so I guess I'll keep going for as long as I can.

5. Just being there for the kids

As with anything else, parenting has its ups and downs. But there is nothing like your child giving you a big hug and kiss when they wake up, or running to you when they've fallen down. I was sad to say that once I went back to work, I was no longer E1's favourite playmate or comforter. He takes after me - our love language is touch. And even though  I have to divide my attention between the two of them now, it's nice to feel wanted. 

GY has asked if I felt losing my income was worth staying home to take care of the kids. How do you even begin to justify that? Experiencing every milestone and being part of their childhood - that's priceless. There are things in life that you can't pause, rewind, play and this is one of them.

So yes, it's totally worth it
(and thank you for giving me that choice).